You will try to control the world around you – if you don’t know how to control what’s going on inside you.

Self-awareness is a concept I recently learned.  More importantly, I am learning how significant the practice of self-awareness is in relationship.

I’m the kind of guy that is pretty introspective, in that I spend a lot of time examining my motives, feelings, relationships, etc.  But, what I’m talking about is being aware of why I’m feeling certain ways.  For instance, the other day I woke up and began examining all the things that my sons were doing, and the more I thought about it the more mad I got.  By the time Leslie walked in the room, I was in a full on frenzy.  I told her 10 different reasons why I’m concerned about our boy’s lifestyles, and all the worst possible outcomes.  She was so gracious and patiently listened to me rant and rave.

Now, we’re not talking about kids that are partying, chasing wild women and robbing convenient stores.  It centered more on issues like time management, education and work ethic.  Regardless, I was all kinds of upset!  Then came the moment of decision:  Do I confront the boys with my concerns while I’m freaking out or go get my heart right?

Since I’m telling the story, I bet you already know what I did.  The right thing!  Yep, I ran to the mountains and helped a friend with some work.  As I prayed and worked, the Holy Spirit began to show me how I was thinking, and why I was thinking the way I was thinking.  If I was actually mad at my boys for doing something hurtful or offensive, I would need to confront and correct them.  But I wasn’t mad, I was scared.

All of my anger was coming from fear.  And you know how I hate fear! So, as I’m working through my emotions, I realized that I needed to take a chill pill and re-examine what’s really going on inside me.  Bottom line, I needed to hear from the Holy Spirit about why I was upset, identify the real issue, and address it with love.  Even if it’s love and compassion for myself or someone else.  My anger was fear based, and I needed to address what I was afraid of – so I did.

Until we take the time to consider the why in the what, we will be left with only one bad choice – trying to control those around us.  And that’s not fun for anyone!

We don’t have to learn everything through trial and error…so let us consider the weight and the importance of self-awareness, and continue to glean wisdom from those who have gone before us.

Love y’all,  Todd